Handling the haters


Don’t you hate having to deal with haters?

Alas, the hater community is here to stay; get used to it–and please don’t join their ranks! 

Dealing with prickly people who criticize you unfairly or dislike you for no clear reason is a difficult pill to swallow, no matter how thick your skin may be.  

I confess that it’s a work in progress for me.  Just last week I was on the receiving end of some stuff that left me shaking my head in disbelief.  Disbelief turned into sadness, which then morphed into annoyance and anger.  I really had to pray about it in order to not get all stroppy and lose my joy and peace.  It’s a process, people!

What are some potential ways to maneuver around this land mine?

RECOGNIZE that it’s about them, not you.  They have a problem, and you’re probably not the only one they’re bashing.  Sometimes deep insecurities are displayed in antagonistic words and actions.  Pray for them.  They really need it!

REACT wisely; others are watching.  The response you give says a lot about you and your spiritual maturity.  Remember, this is a test!  Don’t let Satan bait you into acting in ways that are outside of your true character in God.

RESPOND with kindness:  turn the other cheek or heap coals.  I know; it sounds very lofty but you’re doing it not so much for them, but for you.  What’s the alternative?  To become like them? Choose to do right by them or to do something good for them when the opportunity arises.

REVEAL a forgiving spirit. Hey, don’t kill the messenger; I’m just passing on what my Dad taught me!  Deep down you know you need to do this; otherwise you’ll be lugging around a heavy burden of bitterness and resentment for a long time.

ROOT OUT rejection.  The fact that people who clearly have issues are rejecting you is no reason to allow them to stir up an overall sense of rejection in your life.  Deal with each situation based on its own merits (or lack thereof) and remember Whose you are.

RESPECT God’s Word as the decision-maker.  If you follow your feelings, you will react in a fleshly way.  This is a good time to put your flesh in Word rehab.  Let the Holy Spirit bring to your mind the correct scriptural response to such attacks.

So… how do you handle your haters?




Comments

  1. this is so true and it happened to me this morning, i dont know if they were hating on me or just wanted to make me suffer like i did them, eithr way they were out to get and its funny i should read this today thank you

  2. Talking about haters and forgiveness. This show really drives that message home. It is long but worth the watch.

    http://www.dramafever.com/drama/726/1/Baker_King_Kim_Tak_Goo/?ap=1

  3. @allisonHey, haters don't take a break, my dear. You have to fight using the best weapon, the Word of God. Hang in there!

  4. @nicbrekI'll check it out when I get home. Great to see you here, Nicole!

  5. True and I'd like to add you don't "need" to always handle haters. You can just ignore them. Like you said it's more about them than you.

  6. @Michelle @Radiant Brown BeautyTrue, Michelle. Ignoring haters is the best way of "handling" them.

  7. @KMerriweatherYes, Kathy, prayer as a response was my first point. And you're right; if God looked at the hateful stuff we do, we'd be in big trouble all the time. Thanks to Him for grace!

    Great to see you here! Come on back!

  8. KMerriweather says:

    Also when handling haters, don't forget to pray for them. We all tend to forget no one is perfect. If God hated us for the things he did not like about us, were would we be.

  9. @Susan SilverSusan, thanks for commenting! You are right; in the heat of the moment we let things slip out that normally wouldn't, and yes, online is an entirely different landscape.

    Thanks for coming by!

  10. Susan Silver says:

    Great Post. I follow the same steps as you. I might get angry, but I know if I just take some deep breaths and wait 5 minutes it will be okay. In real life most people don't mean what they say in a heated moment. You might be at work with an important deadline and the most patient person will get angry if something goes wrong, and they may blame the closest person.

    Online it is a little different. Just realize most of those people have never met you, and may never meet you.If they did they would certainly change their minds.

    Coming from the "I'm Still Standing" About Page Link Up.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Alison,

    I'm so late with this article, it's not funny, but better late than never! :0 And, besides, I needed to read the article at THIS time. At work, if you are good at what you do, be prepared for lots of your mates to be drinking that haterade. I deal with it as well. Although they all laugh with you, they are different levels of hating and I have experienced most, if not all. I tend to ignore most of these people. Like you, I might shake my head, and shake it off. At others, I might get angry and vent to my sounding boards. With others, I'll vent, but I know that they will need me and will be in my office asking for help and I deal with those according.
    It is pitiful that a lot of people feel that the only way they can get ahead is to tear down others. And, worse year, some managers allow them to get away with it. And don't let me get started on the finger pointing. UGH…just like elementary school!

    Thank you for posting this topic!

    Arlene

  12. @AnonymousArlene, you are right. Various types of hate call for varied responses. I never cease to be amazed at the things folk will do and say to jack you up. SMH….

  13. What a wonderful post. As a mom, I'm learning not to respond to my kids' negative tone or attitudes, but to gently say, "When you're ready to speak respectfully, I"ll be ready to listen." It's a new approach to raising teens (at least for me), but it's working — so far. I'm getting apologies before finishing the sentence.

    You're right, negativity is here to stay. It's up to us not to join in!

  14. @Karen DawkinsKaren, it's true, as we choose to present the positive, the negative has to die out. Let's pledge to keep positive in 2012!

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