Been thinking about motives a lot recently. Why do I do what I do? What’s really behind my doing? Pure motives or a hidden agenda?
A case in point is blogging.
I started blogging because I felt that it was a viable outlet for the many things that are on my mind and heart, and I genuinely enjoy writing. It is a “fire shut up in my bones.”
I asked God to bless what I would do and to use it to bless others and draw them (and me) into a closer relationship with Him.
But a funny thing happened along the blogosphere path. You begin to read about how to grow your blog, how to change your writing to attract traffic, and the initial, simple goal of writing–hopefully appealing to like-minded readers or even challenging some who don’t totally share your point of view–becomes a little murky.
What if no one reads?
What if no one cares?
Do I continue to write, as it were, to myself?
What if I lose my true voice in trying to grow an “audience”?
In his book “The Life You’ve Always Wanted, ” John Ortberg raises the idea of the “ministry of the mundane,” a form of servanthood in which your own agenda decreases and gives way to helping others without even thinking about it. “Give yourselves to those who can bring you no status or clout,” he says, “for if you don’t, your whole life will be thrown away on an idiotic contest to see who is the greatest.”
My wish is that this blog will be a “ministry of the mundane.” My hope is that others can relate to the struggles I face. My goal is to serve others–to encourage, to edify, perhaps even to entertain. :-) My desire is to be authentic and transparent.
But if nobody read along…
Although it might smart a bit (who am I fooling? It would hurt like all get-out!), I still think I’d be doing what I’m supposed to do and somebody, somewhere along the way, will be blessed. Maybe what is mundane to me may be a light bulb moment for someone else. They may never know it if I don’t write it.
So I continue to pray for right motives and to plug ahead despite all that would work against me posting something new every week, convinced that those who need to will receive something here. And yes, somebody will read along!