Some things are better left unsaid

In fact, a bunch of things are better left unsaid.  The sad part is, the people who should be shutting up aren’t paying attention. How can they?  They’re busy being verbal wordslingers of the worst kind!

silence please

Last year when the movie A Thousand Words came out, I wrote a post about the power of words to build up or destroy.  Reminded me of some things that I’ve heard people say (sometimes to my face!) that left me thinking: some things are better left unsaid!  

Here are some of those gems that leaked out of people’s mouths, along with my thoughts on them.  Most of these comments left me tongue-tied when I first heard them.  I just couldn’t believe people had the cojones to spit this stuff out.  But hey, it takes all types to make a world, no? 

Why aren’t you married yet?  I mean, you’re not getting any younger?

As if I’m not aware.  Seriously?  WTH.  And why, again, is it your business?

Someone like you should at least have given your parents some grandchildren!

Um, define “someone like me”?  And why is it your high calling to speak your opinions into my life?

Why are you trying to lose weight?  You’re already skinny!

Thanks for broadcasting my current physical situation, which, by the way, is painfully obvious (I had hyperthyroidism; it will make you lose weight no matter how much you eat).

She’s dark but …

So, despite the abundance of melanin–which clearly is a negative trait, in your mind–there are some redeeming qualities.  *applauds with mock glee*

Instead of feeding this cat every day, you could be giving this money to the homeless!

Well, yeah, you’re probably right. Hey, at least it’s only one cat!   😉  But  I suspect that if I dig up in your bidness enough, I’ll discover some equally heinous habit (The horror!  Feeding a cat!) about which I can be equally or even more judgmental than you!

Wow!  You have real food in your pantry and fridge!

I can only imagine your surprise.  I’m sure you had me pegged as a “Cheerios for breakfast, lunch, and dinner” single lady. *rolls eyes*

Don’t bring home no white boys!

Said to me when I was leaving for university.  I can’t respond… even after all these years.

Your hair used to look so pretty!  You’re just lazy; that’s why you cut it off! 

Said to me very loudly in a supermarket.   Mmm hmm, that would explain it.  Not the burning scalp from years of using relaxers, or the hair breakage and thinning that was making me half crazy.  Ooh, you is smart! 

To all of which, I respond with Proverbs 12:18:

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” 

What sorts of crazy things have people either said to your face or within earshot?


  1. What? Whoa!! Horrible. I can’t think of anything too good to add, but I’m sure they were said. A gem was when I was a teenager and people would say about my older sister, “She’s so pretty..” And then they’d taper off but the unspoken part was, “Why aren’t you?”
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  2. These are horrible. Some people just need to think before they speak…seriously.
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  3. Wow to all of these. I could add a bunch but I’m thumbing my response on the phone. I’ll probably be back when I think of a doozie but it drives me crazy for people to speculate ANYTHING about me having an only child. I finally started saying if it’s the Lords will I’ll have another. What I’ve mumbled in my head was if storks really delivered babies I’d probably have too many.
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  4. People really don’t know when to keep their mouths shut. I can’t recall anything as rude as what you’ve experienced, but it makes me wonder what is said outside of my presence. I think I’m better off not knowing.
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  5. Folks can be so tactless…especially us island folks. My favorite one was when I visited a church an saw someone i hadn’t seen in a while. She grabbed my behind and said “Lawd Hope, your batty wide” LOL. (just in case you need clarification, she was talking bout my behind) I still chuckle when I think about it. I was 5’10, 145lbs with the same hips I had since puberty. My sister was pissed at me for not telling her off.
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  6. And this is why I LOVE you and this blog! I am at home snapping, clapping, and nodding a resounding “yes!” This–>”Someone like you should at least have given your parents some grandchildren!” What are you talking about? Some folks have no class. I am a true believer in words. I should be, I love them and I love to use them. Problem is, words are both my gift and my curse. I do a great job or building people up and tearing them down with my words. It is a true double-edged sword that I need use wisely. I’m working on it. Let the words of my mouth overflow from the heart…Ready for tomorrow?
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    • Ready ready ready! I’m still at work but leaving in a few. When I get home I’ll finesse that post. #excited.

      And yes, I’m with you re: the building up and tearing down. We have to pay such close attention to what slips from the lips. What a struggle to embrace!! LOL
      Alison recently posted..Some things are better left unsaidMy Profile

  7. A few months after I had surgery on my jaws to correct an open bite, a friend said to me, “Your nose isn’t going to stay that big, is it?” We talked it out, and all is fine, but she really had trouble believing she said it. Um, yeah–I would not forget something like that. I also had a friend who would constantly bug me about getting married–yet, her own marriage was not a fine example of a good reason to do so! Anyway, I know my own big mouth has been unknowingly unkind, as well. 🙁 Forgiveness is a wonderful gift. 😉

    • It sure is, Pam! I’ve been known to let some things slip out that have caused me pain when I thought about them later on. Thing is, we don’t get a do-over. That’s the part that bites: we can’t take back the words. Grateful for grace and forgiveness…

  8. WOW! People really will say just about anything won’t they??!! I am SO SORRY. Every single one of these is just so rude.-Ashley
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  9. Why do people feel the need to comment on things that are none of their business. I get it all the time why don’t you work a real job. I tell people why don’t you find me a real job that will pay my bills and while you are looking tell me how much money I will have left over after I work that real job. If you don’t live in my shoes don’t say nothing especially if I didn’t ask. Love this post
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  10. Girl, I have heard so much of this. Lately it’s when are you going to have a girl?! As if having 2 boys isn’t enough?! People are always going to be super ignorant. You are great for taking the high road.

  11. Oh my Alison, I have heard a few those myself. It amazes me what people deemed they have the “right” to speak or about someone else.
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  12. alison, a lot of this resonates with me because i didn’t get married until recently! people really do say some stupid stuff. i heard a lot of inconsiderate things after i had my miscarriages like “you’ll get over it.” “miscarrying at 8 weeks is nothing.” “when you finally have a kid, you won’t even remember the losses anymore.”

    another one that sticks in my mind was when i was waiting outside of a diner (there was a long wait), and some passerby said to a heavyset person waiting in line, “you shouldn’t be eating here. you probably should be exercising.” i almost wanted to cry; i couldn’t believe how mean that person was.
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